Carl Hiaasen acts nuts in the presence of Bob Shacochis and becomes my new hero. Among Hiaasen’s affronts:

• “because I’m making cell-phone calls in my car and exhibiting an absolute lack of urgency, Hiaasen rearranges the garbage cans.”
• “Eventually we drag our feet down his dock and load gear onto the boat with icy fingers and half a warm heart between us. “
• “‘Do you want people to die? Do you want carcasses floating down Biscayne Boulevard?’ he says. ‘Of course not. But nature’s here to remind us, and it does, that it can kick our ass, that we’re just gnats.'”