This may be a colossal mistake, but somehow I’ve been roped into the 12:01 AM Revenge of the Sith show.

Regular readers of Return of the Relutant know that while I have fond childhood memories of Episodes IV-VI, if I had to choose between one of the two bloated mainstream sci-fi Hollywood franchises (as all Americans must do), I would lean towards Star Trek (discounting anything beyond Deep Space Nine, because that hot Tasha person was right you see when she said it NEVER happened!).

Yet I’m heading into this bastard, no doubt contributing my hard-earned ten bucks for another rumpus room on George Lucas’ palatial estate (the evil bastard is laughing at us!), because (a) I sat through the other two crappy movies and if I’m to be disappointed by a trilogy, I may as well go the distance and (b) if I get through this movie, whose climax and outcome is as predictable as a bad prix fixe menu, I will have the grand consolation of never having to experience Star Wars in any form again.

So look to these pages at some point on Thursday morning and you’ll get a no-holds-barred assessment on Sith from Dr. Mabuse. Will it be another steaming piece of turd (“That is the sound of a lot of bad cash coming our way!”) or will it be, as some reviews have indicated, an unexpected point of redemption? Will that Jar Jar bastard die? Will Anakin and Padme get it on with all the explicitness of a Bollywood movie? Probably, to the last question. But your humble reporter hopes to answer these hard questions (and many more).