In an article on Tom DeLay’s ethics, the Washington Post has quoted an anonymous Repubican political consultant: “If death comes from a thousand cuts, Tom DeLay is into a couple hundred, and it’s getting up there.”

What follows are the abandoned remarks that went through the political consultant’s brain shortly before he decided on the above:

1. “If Washington is a tuna fish sandiwch, Tom DeLay is the can of Starfish waiting to be cracked open.”

2. “That is the sound of a thousand bad things coming Tom’s way.”

3. “Expect DeLays in traffic. The interstate just got ugly. Labor Day ugly.”

4. “Fate is a poor man’s barbeque and Tom DeLay doesn’t have ID for the check cashing corner. Washington likes itself some ribs.”

5. “Tom DeLay’s a pair of stiletto heels draped over a PAC man’s libido. At best, he’ll blow his career in fifteen minutes.”