Edward Champion's Return of the Reluctant

Our Books, Our Times

Publishers are prepared. Hot on the heels of the Nancy Drew update, several new offerings are in the works.

Encylopedia Brown and the Case of the Fixed Election: Encyclopedia Brown and Sally Kimball are asked by a cowering Democrat to investigate tampered votes. The Democrat, afraid of taking a stand, bolts to Europe. Bugs Meany, paid off by Kathleen Harris, kidnaps Sally and throws her into a den of whores. Encyclopedia Brown attempts to use logic to get Sally out. But despite Brown's carefully crafted solution, Bugs (along with Jeb's other hired thugs) beat him to a bloody pulp. Brown gets a job at Arby's, moving into a warren with other failed child detectives. The answers at the back of the book have been replaced by an unemployment insurance application.

Anne of Green Parties: Anne and Gilbert move from Avonlea to Berkeley, where the two become involved in the 2000 Ralph Nader campaign and open up a Canadian Vegan restaurant (complete with organic coffee). A greedy property developer hoping to franchise the idea across the nation attempts to buy Anne and Glbert out. While getting into a brawl with Gore supporters, Gilbert decides on a whim that he's a carnivore and that he can't in all good conscience vote for Ralph, let alone operate a restaurant. Fracas over dietary habits ensues, along with a climactic courtroom battle.

The Littles Go to Hollywood: The Littles, tired of dealing with domestic squabbles with the Biggs, decide to move to Hollywood and sow their wild oats. In search of Michael J. Anderson, a man who they have seen on HBO, the Littles must contend with cracked vials and used syringes deposited in their home, along with a cruel plastic surgeon who hopes to remove all the Littles' tails and use them for scientific research.

Dorothy and the Transient in Oz: A shaggy unshowered man shows up in the East. Aunt Em and Dorothy build a halfway house next to the Emerald City to service this man and others like him who may arrive. But Dorothy doesn't count on Aunt Em leaving Uncle Henry for a clandestine affair involving the transient and a winged monkey.

Posted by DrMabuse at March 17, 2004 08:10 AM