Edward Champion's Return of the Reluctant

War & Peace, Randy Canadians & Unknown Poets

• Nobel Peace Prize winner Shirin Ebadi can't get his memoirs published in the States. Why? There's an embargo in Iran. Ebadi has responded by suing the United States. Her memoir, it should be noted, is the story of "a woman, a mother and a lawyer living and working in a country that confronts many human rights problems." This may be the first flagrant example of, as Moby Lives recently asked for ideas on, poltiics having a definitive influence upon literature.
• At the Vancouver International Writers Festival, Natalee Caple declared that one of her desires is to excel at "literary sex: better, more accurate sex scenes in Canadian novels...written by stronger, more difficult, troubled, kick-ass women characters." Caple also felt bad about one of her characters losing a leg. So out of sympathy, she decided to give him a hand job. If this is the kind of generosity we can expect from Canadian writers, perhaps this isn't such a crazy idea after all.
• Literary scholars are reassessing the influence of Louis Zukofsky. Several professors, who recently received substantial checks from Zukofsky's heirs, have declared Zukofsky "the best poet of his generation." In response to the overblown plaudits, Heidi Julavits is expected to write an anti-praise manifesto in the January 2005 edition of The Believer.
• Frank DiGiacomo is expected to "co-author" Harvey Weinstein's memoir. In preparation for the job, DiGiacomo has begun humiliating lowly interns, smoking and swearing like a motherfucker, and exclaiming "Ben Affleck is my bitch" throughout the Conde Nast building.