Month / June 2006

by Edward Champion

Pissing Off Indies: The New “Business” Decision

Author Barry Eisler posts several emails (and several responses) from an exchange with an independent bookseller who was a bit dismayed that neighboring chain bookstores not only jumped a retail release date for Eisler’s latest, but let Eisler sign stock. Eisler sees nothing wrong with signing stock at multiple stores, chain or indie, and while some have quibbled over the bookseller’s “tactlessness,” I think some of the tactlessness can also be applied to Eisler.

Asking an independent for directions to Barnes & Noble, as G reports, strikes me as a particularly inconsiderate move, akin to tap dancing on a bier at a funeral. It is, after all, the indie booksellers who are offering the kind of passion (some would say economic foolhardiness) and word of mouth that gets people excited about books.

To ostracize an indie bookstore on the way up might propel you into the big leagues, but if that reign of glory ends, rest assured that those who run indie bookstores have long memories. (In fact, about six months ago, a clerk at a local bookstore told me about the shabby treatment that a certain high-profile author gave her at a reading from six years ago. Because of this, she, along with the other clerks, have gone out of their way to discourage people from buying this author’s books and have not given any of the books any preferential table placement. This is what happens when you treat clerks rudely.)

It seems to me that any author doing promotion or signing stock should be particularly sensitive to indie bookstore temperaments. How difficult is it really to listen, pay attention and be considerate to those who are actively selling and promoting your books? Particularly when the majority of author events occur in indie bookstores, not big box outlets.

[RELATED: Lee Goldberg has more thoughts.]

by Edward Champion

Technology: A Tool, Not A Human Facsimile

This GUI interface is intriguing, but I can’t see how it can possibly replace the tactile feel and natural sensory interface of touching, arranging and shuffling piles of paper. That so much energy has gone into developing a project which reproduces this sensation instead of encapsulating it is irksome and perhaps counterintuitive. It is mimesis, rather than transmutation. And while there are positive things which can be said about recreating human environments and experiences in a computer (e.g., it may permit us to understand instinctive impulses from a binary perspective, which could in turn shift paradigms), why don’t software developers and engineers understand that certain human nuances might be better studied or effected through basic human contact?

This reminds me of a game I often play with friends with Blackberries. When out in the real world, if the friend has a Blackberry and I have a cell phone, I then name a piece of information to extract. It could be a general piece of knowledge (Who popularized the Second Law of Thermodynamics?). It could be something as simple as finding out when the next showing of a movie starts. Each person must then ferret out a piece of information: the friend through Google, me through natural telephone conduits. Certain pieces of information are better extracted through the phone (such as when a restaurant is open). Other pieces of information, such as objective facts and data, are better extracted through the Google connection.

What the results here suggest is that, as dazzling as the Internet and technological conduits can be, there are still basic human impulses and communication patterns which can never be entirely reproduced or advanced through machines. (At least not yet.) Of course, where human contact ends and technological contact begins is a subjective question entirely up to the individual. But technology is a tool: an adjunct to the human experience, not a substitute.

(via The Old Hag)

by Edward Champion

Chuck Klosterman is a Coward

Williamette Week Online: “The thing that I want to find out is who’s doing the entry for butter. There’s an entry for butter! What would motivate someone to do that? There’s an entry for waffles; I cannot fathom what that person’s motive is. And it’s good—it’s got the history of waffles!”

The motive, Mr. Klosterman, is that inquisitive people are actually interested in the minutiae of our world. The purpose, Mr. Klosterman, is because understanding how such things like waffles and butter came into being provides larger insights into human innovation and invention. (Watch James Burke’s Connections, if you don’t get this. I’m recommending a television program for you instead of a book, because literacy seems to elude you.)

Incidentally, I have requested an interview with Chuck Klosterman. This is the second time I have tried to talk with him as he’s come through my town on a book tour. And while the Scribner people have been very kind and they are busting their humps off, all interview requests, apparently, have to be cleared through Klosterman. Klosterman refuses to respond to my emails, which leads me to believe, all of his assertions of manhood and “working out” to the contrary, that he is too cowardly to talk with an interviewer who won’t kiss his ass.

So I hereby call out Chuck Klosterman publicly on my blog. I know you’re coming through San Francisco next week, Chuck. If you’re truly a man, you’ll sit down and talk with me and answer my questions. Or do you really think you’re better than John Updike, Erica Jong, Sarah Waters, T.C. Boyle, William T. Vollmann, Octavia Butler, Norman Solomon, and Dave Barry?

by Edward Champion

PETA Will Be All Over This One

Scripps Howard: “Upon being seen, Trenta said, ‘It’s my dog,’ and, ‘What’s the problem?’ The male dog ran and hid behind the deputies, according to a report released Tuesday.”

Questions for Class:

1. To what extent is Trenta’s statement true? Is there in fact no problem here? Or does Trenta’s statement represent a cavalier attitude about ethical responsibility? Consider the people throughout history who have uttered two sentences similar to “It’s my dog. What’s the problem?” and discuss their moral capacity at length.

2. Does a pet, by way of being owned, waive his right to consensual relations? What if the situation had been reversed and Trenta had been the one getting pounded by his Argentine Dogo puppy? If the puppy had been capable of speech and uttered, “It’s my human. What’s the problem?” would you react with similar strains of horror?

3. Why did reporter Gabriel Margasak use the phrases “mixed-breed dog” and “a Mexican citizen working as a laborer” in the first four paragraphs? Is there a racist element to this allegedly objective story?

4. Humane Society spokeswoman Roberta Synal notes that the dog will “get lots of love and training.” Is there anything in the story to suggest that Trenta did not give him “lots of love and training?” Is his indiscretion, in fact, a form of “love and training” or the product of a troubled mind?

5. Will Trenta be allowed to own a pet again? Or will he be placed on a list of pet offenders kept in the Martin County Sheriff’s Office?

by Edward Champion

Nonprofit’s Just Another Word for Money Left to Lose?

The Myths of Nonprofit Literary Publishing: “If a for-profit group had grants, no income tax liability and a free workforce, someone would be making good money and fewer small businesses would go under. Why does a nonprofit have these savings and still claim to be too poor to pay its bills, namely the writing content that serves as the very foundation of the publication?” (via The Publishing Spot)

by Edward Champion

Roundup

by Edward Champion

Rapid Roundup

by Edward Champion

The Lesser of Two Evils?

Dan Green takes umbrage with Wendy Lesser’s establishing principles behind The Lesser Blog. I’m a big fan of The Threepenny Review (and Lesser was once interviewed for The Bat Segundo Show; ironically, paired up with a certain poet-litblogger), but I actually agree with Dan that there are already plenty of “self-contained essays” to be found within the litblogging community. Of course, if Lesser really does desire to organize her blog, she can start by offering an RSS feed for those of us who hope to keep up with her thoughts. Lesser may claim to offer content which resembles “a printed article more than most blog entries do,” but I presume she refers to the completely disorganized navigation currently found at the Lesser Blog rather than any elitist qualifier. At least I hope that is the intent.

Nevertheless, Lesser’s stance continues the troubling hard line spouted off by John Updike and those dashing critics who seem to prefer gasconade over civil discourse. The continuing assumption that print is somehow superior to online writing simply because trees are massacred is as disingenuous a claim as Intelligent Design or proving the existence of the Tooth Fairy. Perhaps if these print-to-online greenhorns actually presented convincing arguments rather than generalized castigations sans examples, proponents of both mediums might find ways to learn and benefit from each other. Which seems to me a more constructive use of the Internet.

[6/21/06 UPDATE: Interestingly, Lesser has amended her post and removed the offending remarks from her blog. While it’s good to know that Lesser is reading the blogs and responding accordingly, one would hope, however, that Lesser (or another critic) could simply offer an explanation of where she’s coming from instead of a wholesale deletion. Perhaps one print critic being honest about the way she feels might lead to both sides understanding why there’s this continuing divide, driven by a fey animosity, between print and online mediums. As I suggested in my initial post, I believe that both sides have a lot to learn from each other. And wouldn’t the willful antagonism of the Sam Tanenhauses and the John Freemans of our world be better expressed with open communication and respectful conversation? (Thanks for the tip, Scott.)]

by Edward Champion

New Pynchon Book?

From Scott comes this rumor that Pynchon has a new book out in December from Viking, set in 1897 Chicago. There is nothing currently listed at the Amazon site, nor on the Penguin site, but the Wikipedia Pynchon entry notes:

It has been rumored that Pynchon’s next book will be about the life and loves of Sofia Kovalevskaya, whom he allegedly studied in Germany. The former German minister of culture Michael Naumann has stated that he assisted Pynchon in his research about “a Russian mathematician [who] studied for David Hilbert in Göttingen”. Information from Penguin Press (Viking) places the new novel’s publication date as December 2006.

Of course, since we have nothing here that has been confirmed, it’s best to treat all this information as rumor or conjecture. I will be making calls this morning to see if I can confirm anything. I’ve also sent an email to Paul Slovak.

[UPDATE: There is some kind of Pynchon book being handled by The Penguin Press, not Viking. My contacts at Viking expressed some familiarity with it (one even confirming December publication), without actually telling me what it was. I have a call into Penguin Press people and, as soon as I learn more, I will report it here.]

[UPDATE 2: I’ve spoken with Tracy Locke. She has confirmed that The Penguin Press is publishing a Pynchon book in December 2006, but will not reveal any further information at this time. There isn’t yet a title for the book.]

[RELATED: Darby Dixon III and Bud Parr on reading Pynchon. For those who are new to Pynchon, I suggest the following reading order: V., Gravity’s Rainbow, Mason & Dixon and, once you’ve been thoroughly seduced, Slow Learner to see how it all started. I have not actually read The Crying of Lot 49 or Vineland, hoping to save these books for a very special occasion. Although, strangely, I’ve read all of Gaddis multiple times.]

[UPDATE: I can’t even begin to imagine where John Freeman got his information from, can you?]

by Edward Champion

Interview with Bat Segundo

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Bat Segundo has been particularly vociferous of late and wanted the opportunity to clarify a few issues that had apparently cropped up during the BEA podcasts. I sat down with Bat Segundo at a dive bar (Freddie G’s, I believe it was called) about a mile away from his Motel 6 room. Bat told me that I had to buy him two shots of whiskey before he would answer any of my questions. Fortunately, once the Jack had trickled down his throat, he permitted me to press the orange record button on the tape recorder.]

batsegundoparty.jpgYou’re clearly unhappy about introducing these podcasts. Why keep doing them?

Because I’m a professional! Back in 1992, there was a man named Clive Harris. He ran a radio station and he was the last man in town who would hire me. Anyway, Clive told me that I was washed up, that I had nothing in the way of prospects, and that I should work at an Arby’s somewhere. As it turned out, I did begin an interesting career in the fast food business and became assistant manager.* I did other things too. But I don’t think I should mention them here. Then one morning, as I was recovering from a nasty hangover, I got a call from a Russian producer who wanted to hire me for this new podcasting thing. And so it was either continue my hard work at Arby’s or do this podcasting thing. As you know, I opted for the latter. And I’ve been miserable ever since.

But surely doing radio work is preferable to slinging burgers.

I was assistant manager! I hired other people to sling burgers. Have you heard of Milton, sir? Or a Foster’s contract?

I think you mean Faustian contract.

Whatever! It’s the Young, Roving Correspondent who knows all about this literary stuff, not me. I’m just the stiff they hire to introduce the show.

Why aren’t you the one conducting the interviews?

Because I have a lousy track record. Or so they say. The one and only time I conducted an interview, it was with a Hollywood actress who shall remained unnamed. She was in town to promote some such film that I hadn’t seen and I didn’t cared to see. All I knew was that there was this woman sitting in my studio with large breasts. Now I’ve seen a lot of breasts in my time and I won’t tell you exactly how I obtained this skill, but I can tell absolutely when a girl’s got fake tits. Anyway, I was growing bored with this woman and I then asked her if her tits were real. She refused to indulge me. So I had one of our engineers play a particular frequency, which somehow caused this woman’s silicone gel implants to rupture. I suspect that there was some preexisting condition that caused the rupture. But since much of my savings was, how should I say this, tied up in investments, I couldn’t hire a decent attorney. I was fired on the spot, of course. And the case was settled out the court. But in the end, I was right about the tits. Of course, nearly everyone in the radio business knows what happened.

If you’re such a connoisseur of women’s anatomy, why then did you kiss Matt Cheney at the Big Hunt?

He looked like he needed it! In Russia and Europe and a few other countries, men kiss other men all the time. Or so they say. I don’t know why it hasn’t caught on here. But I can tell you that during our trip to the Mojave Desert, Jorge showed me a few things that caused me to re-examine certain cultural stigmas.

What did he show you?

A profoundly new way of thinking.

Can you elaborate on this?

Not really. These are really personal questions though, don’t you think?

Is there then a special someone in your life?

You could say that. I have a strong attachment to this flask in my pocket. As a matter of fact, it was Clive who gave it to me.

Okay. One final question then. Do you feel that you’re getting upstaged by Updike?

There is one thing that keeps me going. Updike’s an old man. He will likely die before I do. He may have the upper hand now. But rest assured that the grave is the inevitable destination for the human spirit.

Thank you very much, Mr. Segundo.

Oh shut up and buy me another drink.

* — Note: I contacted Arby’s Corporate to see if they had reference to any employee named Bat Segundo. They told me that there was nobody who had worked by that name in the past twenty years. So was Bat lying about Arby’s? Or was he working under another name?

(Photo courtesy of Carolyn Kellog.)

by Edward Champion

The Shifting Advances

There is some speculation that Kate Morton, author of The Shifting Fog, has one-upped Chloe Harper’s $1 million advice from 2002, collecting the largest publishing bounty ever granted to a debut Australian novelist. The book proposal started off as an elaborate, small-time Ponzi scam so that Morton could garner a bit of pocket money out of the Australian publishing industry. To everyone’s surprise, while waiting for the checks to come in the mail, Morton ended up writing her novel. And the deal became legit shortly after Allen & Unwin admired Morton’s inventive approach to sales. They responded with largesse.

by Edward Champion

Seligman’s Two Brains

The Globe and Mail‘s Sarah Hampson profiles fiction editor Ellen Seligman, who observes that, like the protagonist in Philip K. Dick’s A Scanner Darkly, she has split her brain in two independently functioning hemispheres. There is the First Response Brain, which is designed to offer immediate answers (such as “It’s Strunk & White, you callow amateur! Not Stunk & White! Call me when you have a clue!”). And there is Seligman’s Editor’s Brain, an entity quite capable of whacking down a 1,200 page manuscript in half before lunch hour. Seligman’s Editor’s Brain (hereinafter “SEB”) has threatened to develop its own set of limbs, walk away from Seligman’s body and enter the cranium of Viking editor Paul Slovak. SEB’s plan is to ensure that Bill Vollmann’s books aren’t nearly as long and that T.C. Boyle turns out a book every other year rather than annually. Fortunately, Viking has employed considerable security to ensure that half-brains — particularly Canadian half-brains — will never enter its premises.

[UPDATE: Bookninja has some inside dirt relating to Seligman.]

by Edward Champion

Today in Lost Literary Masterpieces

Today is a sad day — a bleak and possibly irreversible moment in publishing history where we shall all mourn the loss of one of the great incomplete masterpieces. I am convinced that literary scholars will place this stunning work next to Ralph Ellison’s Juneteenth, Dickens’ The Mystery of Edwin Drood and F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Love of the Last Tycoon. Of course, the Great Author’s representative states that the Great Author herself will “save the memoirs for a rainy day when she needs to re-invent herself.” I take this as a sly reference to the immortal melody “MacArthur Park.” Will the Great Author and Her Man finally find connubial bliss and settle down in a needle-laden warren? And shortly before moving, will the Great Author and Her Man, both distracted by the heightened opioid receptors blitzing through their bodies, zone out and leave their wedding cake in the rain?

by Edward Champion

Suite Smack Talk

A few weeks ago, Steve Mitchelmore raised a provocative point about Suite Française, suggesting that the novel’s glowing reception had more to do with its origins, as opposed to its qualities as a novel. This led to a backblog battle between Steve and a certain literary guy in Oakland.

Now Mark Thwaite has stepped in and sides with Steve, pointing to Kaszuo Ishiguro’s blurb mentioning the “story behind the novel.” Given that Ishiguro devoted a mere fifty-one words to his blurb, I don’t believe this is entirely fair, particularly since he confined the historical context to the second of his two sentences.

Further, both Mark and Steve have dismissed the book without even bothering to examine its contents. Which strikes me as a bit ironic. If the talk should be centered on the book and the book alone, shouldn’t Mark and Steve live up to their own pledges and offer criticism after they’ve read the book?

by Edward Champion

Oral About Okrent

In my career as a litblogger, I was never persuaded that an ombudsman was a good idea. This isn’t because I have any particular beef against ombudsmen. It is simply because litbloggers can’t afford to hire them.

But my own history with ombudsmen aside, it is safe to say that there is clearly no man more deserving of a blowjob than Daniel Okrent. Not only would I invite Okrent to fornicate with any member of my family (including those under eighteen), but, if nobody was available to wrap lips around his cock, then I would willingly step in and do the job myself.

Because this is the kind of industry Okrent inspires. Okrent isn’t just any ombudsman. He’s the ombudsman for the New York Times. Which means that, in all book review circumstances, he must be given the reverential bukkake treatment. No constructive criticism. No hint of a flaw in his chiseled sentences. No in-review notation of an ethical conundrum. Like the obverse but no less sleazier conundrum of John Dean reviewing Mark Felt’s memoir, with Okrent, it’s all the ooze that’s fit to squint. Never mind that there’s a stupendous conflict of interest or that Okrent’s gushing flow might just blind.

The point is that Okrent is there, waiting for you or any reviewer, either literally or metaphorically, to unzip his fly and work some magic. Unfortunately, in this case, it looks like Harold Evans and Sam Tanenhaus got to Okrent’s phallus before I did. So my mouth remains dry and unsullied. But I suppose there’s always the Wall Street Journal‘s ombudsman to consider. Assuming, of course, that the Journal will print my in-house rodomontade as easily as the Times ran Evans’.

by Edward Champion

Roundup

  • For those who concern themselves with those “When it’s done” exhalations emerging from certain software developers who lack foresight (much less the ability to back up their ambitions), consider the case of Duke Nukem Forever, a game that has been promised for some time. Alas, there have been a good deal of other things that have happened since the initial press release announcment. The real question is whether the game will be released before George Boussard’s ardent disciples check into rest homes — that is, assuming that they retain any keyboard-and-mouse dexterity with which to frag their opponents.
  • Pat Walsh suggests that those who purchase DVD box sets of television are evangelical fools, considering that they can TiVo these episodes. It remains to be seen whether a certain man who has revealed his own television-related nocturnal emissions will have anything to add to the matter. But I will say that my own strange stash of box sets (among the titles are Twin Peaks, The Prisoner, the Complete Monty Python’s Flying Circus, all of the so-called “definitive editions” of The Twilight Zone, and, perhaps most egregiously, Scooby Doo) have been acquired in the heat of cultural obsession. But then I have neither TiVo nor basic cable in my home and my television, for the most part, remains off. Inevitably, however, one’s mind must downshift from time to time. I fully confess that my own eight-cylinder engine stalls every now and then. And under such circumstances, I can think of no greater way to recontextualize the world than pondering the strange relationship between Fred and Daphne or ruminating upon the amount of THC contained within a Scooby snack.
  • Finn Harvor engages Laura Miller on her decsion not to participate in the Times contemporary fiction contretemps and begins a series of meditations on the publishing industry.
  • Barbara Epstein, the founder of the New York Review of Books, has passed on. Hurree Babu has more. (via Books Inq.)
  • Miss Snark declares John Updike the nitwit of the day after parsing this interview with Patti Thorn (conducted a few hours after Updike’s BEA speech). More from Bella Stander. The forthcoming Segundo interview with Updike, in which it is put forth to Mr. Updike that there is room for both print and digital, approaches this and many other topics in a decidedly less fawning manner than Ms. Thorn’s.
  • Philip Hensher remarks upon the differences between American and Anglo vernacular and suggests that both sides have much to learn. (via Booksurfer)
  • Some info on that red card-happy ref from yesterday’s game between the U.S. and Italy. Apparently, this joker Jorge Larrionda was suspended because of past irregularities. Perhaps not coincidentally, the surname “Larrionda” was briefly considered as a nom de guerre by the now dead Gaetano “Tommy Brown” Lucchese shortly before becoming the underboss of Gaetano Reina. Lucchese (who was often referred to by terrified underlings as “the Big Cheese,” which is where the term originated from) was an amateur historian and had more than a passing interest in the War of the Triple Alliance. Coincidence?
by Edward Champion

I’m Positive That Golf Game Partner Contemplations Are Next for Mr. Asher

Levi Asher serves up a you-are-there report on John Updike and gets all giddy and fanboyish: “John Updike looks directly at me with his blazingly smart eyes, says ‘Thank you’ (I’m not sure if he is thanking me for my brilliant phrasing or because I’ve just tossed him a big fat softball) and proceeds to agree that, while the Rabbit novels are significant to him because they take place in a Pennsylvania small town like the one he grew up in, he is sorry to hear of his other novels becoming ‘passe’. He then lists a few other books he considers his best, and I am very happy and satisfied that he names my personal favorite, Couples, as well as his Scarlett Letter trilogy (Month of Sundays, Roger’s Version, S), which I haven’t read yet but will now check out.