Powell’s is hosting an essay contest celebrating ten years of bidness. Put that credit card down! That credit card is for buyers! You think I’m fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. The good news is you’re fired. The bad news is, you’ve got, all you’ve got just one week to write an essay for Powell’s starting with today’s contest. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. Cause we’re adding a little something to the Powell’s shopping experience. First prize is $1,000 in books. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is $100 in books. Third prize is you’re fired. Fuck you! That’s my name. You know why mister? Cause you purchased a cheapass Penguin paperback before getting here tonight. I purchased a rare limited hardcover edition with a misprint on the dust jacket. The books are weak, the books are weak. You’re weak. If you can’t write an essay with these books, hit the bricks pal and beat it! Cause you are going out! (via Chicha)
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A.B.C., motherfucker.
All essay contests smell vaguely of shit. It gets so you don’t mind it.
(I believe, btw, that you only have to be done in a week if you want the free mousepad. Otherwise, you’ve a month.)