Popmatters: “The one thing that has always bothered me about the Charlie Brown Christmas special is that the other kids never admit to Charlie Brown that he was right about the little tree.”

Look at it this way, at least he didn’t publish in The New Yorker and a book. Then again, I suppose we can look forward to Klosterman V: Paragraphs I Wrote While on the Can.

I hereby adopt a new writing axiom: When a male essayist starts looking to Peanuts for a desperate introspective connection (instead of, say, the fascinating people around him), he’s gone well over the edge of needlessly confessional neuroses and must be stopped at all costs.