Oddly enough, I had a “date” similar to this, though nowhere nearly as extreme:

ME: Why is she walking home and why are you picking her up.

AFV (now in full blown rage) BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO KISS HER you asshole! Why did you try to kiss my girlfriend. What the hell do you think you’re doing?!?!?…..

ME: What are you talking about? I was on a DATE with her!

AFV: You weren’t on a date.

ME: I picked her up, I bought our tickets to the concert, and I bought our beers. I mean that’s a f*cking date right.

AFV: It wasn’t a date, she just went out with you because she thought you were a nice guy!

(via Six Different Ways)